Random Thoughts

These are some thoughts that randomly cross my brain.

Riding a motorcycle in an Arizona summer is like pointing a hair dryer at your face for an hour while it's running on high.

I'm going on vacation just as soon as I get back from vacation.

I used to be a lot taller till I screwed up the settings on the dryer.

I like to play tennis but there's a bunch of holes in my racket.

I think I look a lot thinner through the bottom of a wine glass.

I got a haircut recently, I just can't tell which one.

If you've ever made real pizza you realize delivered pizza tastes just like the box it comes in.

I tried to trade my banjo in for a guitar and came out with a ukulele.

If I was taller I could reach you on the phone.

If a sense of humor was all that important like women say, I would have been married 52 times by now.

The last time I looked in the mirror I swear I thought I saw someone looking back at me.

I had a donut this morning but I had to leave the hole because I was full.